The simplest gift you can give a successful person costs you NOTHING. 🙌
And most students never give it.
I got to unpack this with Alex Kehaya on The Index Podcast last week, and I think it's the single biggest unlock in networking for career advice - especially right now, when AI is making cold applications less effective by the day and the humans on the inside matter more than ever.
So here's the gift, why it works, and exactly how to give it.
Why asking for career advice is a gift (not a favor)
Alex and I are both in our forties. And psychologists have noticed something about that halfway mark.
Erik Erikson called it generativity - the stage of adult life where the biggest question shifts from "How do I get ahead?" to "What am I leaving behind?" The more successful you become, the HUNGRIER you are to pay it forward.
Think about it from their side:
At 21, if someone asked you for advice: "Get out of my face. I gotta focus on my own career."
At 41, 51, 61: "Of course I'm gonna share what I learned. I don't wanna go to the grave with all my best kept secrets."
So when a student asks an alum for 15 minutes of advice, the student thinks they're taking something. They're not. They're GIVING that person a chance to leave a legacy. 🤯
It won't make sense to you how important it is. But to them, it absolutely will.
The Advice Ladder: a 3-step framework for networking for career advice
Here's the thing about the advice ask - it isn't just kind. It's the most effective move in the whole job search. Because advice leads to the referral, which leads to the opportunity.
And referrals are the whole ballgame: in Pinpoint's analysis of 4.5 million applications, referred candidates were 7x more likely to be hired than people who applied through job boards.
So I teach it as a ladder with three rungs. Each one makes the next one possible.
Rung 1 - Find the people who WANT to help you
Don't start with strangers. Start with people who already see a little bit of themselves in you - because that's exactly who generativity is pulling toward you.
The fastest way is your school's alumni network on LinkedIn. Go to your university's LinkedIn page, click "Alumni," and filter by the company or job title you're curious about. Boom - there's a Wolverine or a Trojan on the inside of every company you can name.
And if you're not sure WHICH companies or titles to filter for yet, let AI do the heavy lifting first. Here's the exact prompt I share with students:
You know me well. Based on everything you know about my strengths and the things I get most fired up about, give me 10 job titles that would let me use those strengths every day. For each one, name 3 companies that hire for it and the kind of alum I should look for on LinkedIn.
Now you have a target list AND a search strategy in under two minutes. ⚡
Rung 2 - Ask for advice, NOT a job
This is the rung most people skip, and it's the one that matters most.
On the podcast, Alex told the story of being a brand-new teacher who wanted to become an entrepreneur. A friend introduced him to the CEO of a company that's now publicly traded. And at dinner, Alex didn't say "Can you give me a job?" or "Will you invest in my startup?"
He asked how the CEO went from idea to reality.
The CEO told him to read one book. Alex read it front to back, started whiteboarding ideas in his classroom, and that single dinner shaped the rest of his career. He later worked for that same CEO, too - not because he asked for a job, but because he asked for advice.
So here's the message, word for word, that I want you to send:
Hi [Name] - I'm a [year] at [school] and I noticed you went from [their major or first job] to [their current role]. That's exactly the path I'm trying to figure out. Would you have 15 minutes in the next couple of weeks to share how you did it? I'd be so grateful for your advice.
Notice what's NOT in there: no resume, no "any openings?", no ask that costs them anything. Just an invitation to share what they've learned.
Rung 3 - Let the advice turn into the opportunity
Here's the part that feels like magic but is really just human nature.
Once someone has given you advice, they're invested in you. So the follow-up is where the ladder pays off:
Within 24 hours, send a thank-you that names ONE specific thing they said that you're going to act on.
Two to four weeks later, send an update: "I did the thing you suggested. Here's what happened." 🔥
And when a role opens up at their company? You don't even have to ask. Nine times out of ten, they'll say "Send me your resume - I'll pass it along." Because now they want to see their advice pay off.
That's the ladder: Find. Ask. Follow. Advice becomes a referral. A referral becomes an offer.
Why this works even better in the age of AI
I'll be honest - I was naive back in 2022. I thought ChatGPT would help every student write a killer cover letter. Instead, a lot of people hit the easy button, blasted out a thousand AI-written applications, and looked WORSE to the humans on the other side.
Meanwhile, the thing AI can't do for you is sit across a table from someone and give them the gift of being heard. That's why I keep saying the scarce skills are moving to the human side - understanding people, building relationships, inspiring action.
The advice ask is all three of those in one 15-minute conversation.
Your one takeaway
If you remember nothing else: the people who've "made it" are waiting for you to ask. Not for a job. For their story.
Give them that gift this week. Pick one alum, send the message above, and see what happens. And if you want your LinkedIn profile ready before they click on it, grab a free LinkedIn profile makeover first.
Who gave YOU 15 minutes that changed everything? Let me know in the Comments! 👇